Why?

Why do people look at you like you have two heads when you say you have 5 kids? Why do people ask you if your done having kids like its any of their business? I am not sure. It has become a faux pas over the years to have more than 2-3 kids. I love the "Are you catholic?" or "Are you mormon?" questions. Um, last I checked, no. We just enjoy having children, we like the sounds of kids in our home and to one day think...we will never be lonely.

I am pondering all this because about 3 weeks ago we found out we were pregnant again. I'm not gonna say I wasn't shocked, because I was..majorly. After that though was joy, lots of joy, for me and my husband. We talked about having to come up with names again and all the things we would have to do to prepare to have another...and then came the thoughts of the "looks", the "OMG again?", the "don't you know what causes that?" and WORST of all...telling my mother. Now don't think I don't love my mother, because I do, really I do. She raised me to be the Godly woman I am today. She just doesn't handle the baby thing too well. She thought we would stop after we had a boy then a girl, because "why would you need more? you have one of each?" REALLY? Is that why people only have two? Because they got a boy and they got a girl? I know that's not the only reason people decide to have two but I know that some do (my mother being one). And that's sad to me...I love each and every child that God has bless us with. I can't imagine my life with only my oldest two.

Back on subject here. I worried so about telling my mother that when I started bleeding two days later, I figured out a way to go to the ER that afternoon with my husband without telling her. I called my sister-in-law and through tears told her what was going on. See my brother has 4 beautiful children of his own and knows what my mom thinks of us having so many kids. But my SIL was and always is so supportive and encouraging. She understood everything, not wanting to tell my mom, the fear of what others think, all of it. She offered to watch our kids for us so we could go and see what was going on. Long story short that night through tears I had to tell my mom that we were pregnant but that we were not sure if we were having a miscarriage or not. Although she was upset that I didn't think I could tell her she still managed a "when are y'all gonna do something to stop having more?". So I laid it out for her why I didn't want to tell her, and all I can do is pray that she listened.

On the Monday before Christmas we found out that my hormone levels did show that I miscarried. After that it was so hard to be happy and joyful and for me that is hard because I love this time of the year. I reached out to a few friends that I know would not judge but would pray for me and I was able to get out of the funk and enjoy the holidays with my precious little ones.

With much thought and prayer we are leaving the door open for having more children. We are not ready to make anything permanent. I think after you lose one, it makes it that much harder to say no more.

I write all this because I need to come to an understanding with myself that it doesn't matter what people think. What matters is what me and my husband and God think.
So next time one of your friends says "we're having another!" answer with a smile and a "congrats!" no matter what number it is and keep all other comments to yourself :) Think of them and the precious cargo they are carrying.

I finally did it!

So, I finally did it....I'm homeschooling :) I'm a little late in sharing this info since I actually took them out of school in March. But, I am so happy I finally took the step to do it. I've wanted to do it forever it seems. I've never been comfortable putting my kids in public schools and knew that I also could never have afforded to put them in private school either. It took much thought, prayer and talks with my husband. We had had enough of the long h0urs of working on homework, seeing the stress from my oldest son, Andrew, who is in 4th grade, and dealing with the stress that I began seeing him have. I didn't think it was fair to make him go through all that because I was afraid. So the first week in March, I walked into their school and filled out the withdraw papers and filed the necessary paperwork with the BOE . It was such a big relief, for them and me. I now have all five at home and its wonderful! There's Andrew who will be starting 5th, Haley who has a few learning problems that we are working on who will be continuing 1st and Joshua starting Kindergarten. And of course there's Jacob who will turn 4 in September that I'll begin letters and numbers with. We are on summer break now and will pick up where we left off in August. I am looking forward to this time in their lives where I can be the one to teach them about God and his creation and all that he has for them :)

Finally back :)

So I'm finally back after not blogging at ALL after having my daughter. So she arrived on her due date, never had that happen before! Everything went great. I had her in the water which was something else new to me, but now she is going on 9 mos and is the sweetest thing! nurses AWESOME, new to me again LOL. She's such a wonderful baby, more than i could ask for- especially for your last child :)
So other than taking care of her not a whole lot has been going on. We had Christmas, so fun! and started a new year, go 2011!!
My friend Julie had a baby, early, so she's in the NICU. she's doing good right now- Thank the Lord! I'm crocheting her a blanket and hat right now for her to have in the incubator. So thankful all of mine arrived on time and healthy. Praying for the baby and for Julie.
I kinda started my own business making hairbow and things for girls. going pretty good so far. I'll probably be posting about that hopefully before too long. So look for that!
well its kinda late now so for now, night!